


Just Say No

by quiet__tiger



Category: Smallville
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: Lex does something theoretically for Clark.  Clark isn't amused.





	Just Say No

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Livejournal Jun. 30th, 2005.

“Lex, what the heck is this?”

Lex, barely able to hide his smirk, glanced up at his fiance.  Clark only swore in that tone of voice when he was exasperated, which was usually with Lex.

“What’s what?”  Lex pushed his laptop away across the desk and locked his hands together on top of his desk.  

“This!”  Clark walked around the desk and thrust the t-shirt he was holding at Lex.  After Lex took it, Clark crossed his arms in a not-quite-Superman pose.

Fully knowing what the shirt would say, Lex opened it up anyway.

The shirt was a hideously bright green, which Lex had chosen because it closely resembled a certain extraterrestrial mineral.  The front of the shirt featured a drawing of Superman, looking like he was choking.  Printed on the shirt in bold type was “Just Say No To Kryptonite.”

“Well, Clark, it looks like someone wants to send the message that Kryptonite is bad for you.  Sounds like a worthy cause.”

“Bad for me in particular, or everyone in general?”  Clark still hadn’t broken his pose.

“Well, the answer is the same for both categories.  It makes you sick or an asshole or worse depending on the type, and it makes other people psychotic.  The stuff should be banned and destroyed.   If I didn’t own it all.”

Lex watched some of the tension ease out of Clark’s shoulders as he uncrossed his arms, only to watch it reform as Clark clenched his hands into fists.

He pointed a finger accusingly at Lex.  “You knew about this, didn’t you?!”  Lex was no longer able to restrain his smirk.  “You were behind all of it, weren’t you?”  Somehow, the finger became even more accusatory.

“Clark, I thought it would be fun.  People love t-shirts for some reason, they’ll think it’s cute, they’ll drop the cash, all of which goes to charity, and then they’ll be happy, and we can be happy.  No harm, no foul.”

“But… but, it looks like one of those old D.A.R.E. posters, like Kryptonite is a drug you can buy on the street.  God forbid people start smoking it, or liquefying it and injecting it.”

*Dare*?  Must be some public school thing.  What he missed by going to private school…  “Clark, no one will think you can buy it on the streets.  Remember?  We got rid of all the loose bits years ago.  The only place anyone can find it in the world is in two of my labs.  And we know that that supply is only for research purposes.”

Lex could sense Clark’s resolve weakening.  He handed him back the shirt, and Clark took it and opened it up again.  After looking at it for another minute, Clark shrugged.  “It’s a pretty good likeness, at least.”  Finally, Clark dropped down into Lex’s lap.  Lex grunted at the weight, then shifted until they were both comfortable.  “And the color is perfect.”

Lex nodded.  “I thought so.  Trust me that people will only consider it a joke.  Like the Lewinsky thing, or Bush senior vomiting on the Japanese Prime Minister, or Douglass’s chauffer hitting that deer.  No one but me, your parents, Chloe, and Pete would even know about you and Kryptonite if that one woman from Smallville you were trying to rescue here in the city hadn’t been wearing a necklace of the stuff.”

Clark shook his head.  “What were the odds of that? At least no one has made the connection.  Not like anyone could find any of the stuff anymore anyway, thanks to you.”

Clark maneuvered them so that he could kiss Lex, and Lex knew he was forgiven.  He still thought the shirts were damn funny, no matter what Clark thought.

Clark pulled back.  “What charity?”

“The Children’s Hospital and the National Wildlife Conservation Effort.”

“Not even LexCorp charities.”

“Of course not.  The money will be made from your likeness, so it goes to your favorite charities.”

“What about the Astronomy Society?”

“That’s what the mugs and stickers are for.”


End file.
